the m0m3nt .....

The moment I saw you,I knew that you are the one for me.....but things don't turned up the way I expected...

After that incident,you and I are just like stranger even though we are in the same class and did know each other....

When you say you want to break up,my mind is full of thoughts...is it my fault or I did something wrong?I kept wondering what is the reason ...even though I am willing to let you go,but my heart just wont let you go,but eventually I decided to let you go.....

But the moment your tear fell from your little eyes,from your tears,I know what you are trying to say...Sigh,I cant write anymore,but I have to write.....

You say you want to break up because you don't get used to everything happened since this relationship started...tell me,does every relationship that has just started will expect to have a smooth start like other relationships who have gone through hardship and obstacle for a long time?But I wont blame you cause I know you are not prepared yet and I know you need some time and space for your own self and also to think...

Even though we are just friends now,but I think that we looked more like strangers than friends...even though we meet each other everyday,but I am feeling like either one of us is transparent or not exist...I really miss the moment before we get started like when we chat and play together...even though we are friends now,but we are not the friends that last time used to be...In terms,we are friends,BUT in reality,we are strangers....

If I knew that this would happen,I would wished that I never met you at the first place..If I knew this would happen,I would just follow my parent's advice and go to boarding school....If I knew that this would happen,I wished I never fall for you and be together with you...If I knew this would happen,I wished I was transferred to 4 Berlian...because....

In the end,I am the one who heart broken the most...
In the end,I am the one who suffered the most...
In the end,I am the one who get the most and worst impact...
In the end,I am alone to bear all these pains...

BUT in the end,no matter what,I still love you.....

I feel like I wanna die right now,but I cant..just cant...because I have lost the mood to die or to live...My life is just like a sail in the middle of the sea without paddle,I will just follow anywhere wherever the wind and current bring me to...My life is just like a human without purpose,lost all his will to live on...like a living zombie...

I wished we can start all over again..accept me back...or at least be the friends that we last time used to be.....but I think this thing will never happen.not even in dream...

But I want you to know that I love you,and I still love you right now....

With a tear that roll out from my eyes for the first time in these few years and dropped onto my palm,I end this post,unable to write furthermore......

my fren...this is my feeling and my emotions..i hope u will respect my feeling and try no to do something that will hurt me furthermore,tq....

d3@th

death...i am sure that everyone is familliar wit this word....what does this word meant to u?Some say death is when people passed away or their body is not alive..some say death is just peoples who r about leaving the world,going to other dimension...But for me,death meant more than this...Since I was a small kid,I have seen many death which oso involve my family....Ya..I still remember that moment which is year 1999,when my grandpa passed away peacefully in his sleep..since i am just a small kid and not knowing what happen to my grandpa... so when my grandpa is about to be buried somewhere is Melaka...I asked my gugu(my father's youngest sister)"Gong gong zai na ni le?"(means where is my grandpa)..she just answer that he wont be around here to accompany us anymore....As I grow older,I learn to accept that sooner or later,people will die because of old or sickness...like last week,my uncle's wife passed away due to heart attack...I am not sad but i did mourn for her and death,It is just something that u cant control cause the decision is all in God's hand....(remind me of holy knight chen's ulti,hand of god =.=)Tell me,no matter how healthy u r,no matter how many supplement u have taken...It will just mostly expand ur life for a few years,mayb decades...I know all of u will started to scold me and say have a few more extra years to live on not good ah?But the problem is not the amount of life span u have,it is how u plan ur life...Tell me...If u r rich and take supplement to extend ur life..But your children are keep fighting over the testament when u r about to die...But on the other hand,if i was born into a poor family and sicked,but my family treated me well and I am happy..I will not mind if my life span will be cut short because of the sickness that I am having..So which one will u choose?I will surely choose the second life..I know that some stupid people will choose the first option,cause they say that money is the most important..but bear in mind,no matter h0w much money u have,I will guarantee that one day all the money u have will use finish..trust me,what i say is true,dont u all agree?Money cant buy love,cant buy health and the most important is MONEY cant buy happiness...You will onli find ur happiness wit u two hands,not ur money..If u use money to buy happiness,I am sorry dude,u will lost all ur happiness the moment u lost all ur money...Frankly speaking,since I am a left handed person,scientific research had found out that left handed person life is much more lesser than right handed one..in fact,me, as a left handed person,will have 10 years shorter life span than u all,which mean if u r 40 years old and passed away because of natural cause,I am sure that I will passed away earlier than u all,mayb at the age of late 20's or early 30's..but that's all god's will,nothing can change the fact...In fact i will not regret for dying now cause i know my life is happy,thnks to all of u ,my frends...Last time when i found out that my life span will be much more shorter,I was so scared cause i know that i will die earlier than all of u all...but now i am not worry cause i understand that everyone have to die...and since my life is happy,I die now oso nvm....cause wit u, my frens at my side,I can die peacefully....Remember, death is not a bad thing..in fact,death teaches us to appreciate and love people even more because when some1 u love is dead,u will onli start to realized that loving people is important..and death oso make u stronger so u can face the harsh reality...Death is more like a lesson for u all,cause when some1 is dead,u will start to know the importance of loving people,and from there people's bond will start to get stronger,and together they face this cruel world..so,death is more like a bless,it make u stronger,make u tougher and surely make u more mature..It will oso make u loves ur loved one even more..So my frens...I hope that this post will change your perception towards death,accept it and think death is not so bad after all..Till here my frens!^^

Nvm,I will accept ur decision...Making u happy will be the last thing I do....

ch01c3s....

choice...another thing that almost happen everyday in our life..no matter where r u,what u doing or what time u r at,u r oways given some choices to decide,whether u wan it or not...it is like becoming part of our life,like an inseparable entity in our life...but without choices,we oso cant choose, and choices make us think,make us how to decide our life...so,choices do play an imporant role in our daily life...choices can make our life happy or gloomy and that is oso up to u to decide it!but if u study physics..example,Newton has stated that there is 3 law of physics..one of the law is like if u shoot a riffle,the gun will push the bullet and at the same time,the force of the bullet will push the gun back towards u....so what i am trying to say at here is the choices that u make doesn't onli affect u,it oso affect all the people surrounding u...if u r in bad a mood,u will expect that the people around u will oso turn sour....sometimes,choices in our life can be really harsh and turn against us...here r some of the choices or decisions that people faces usually...

when u gamble,u will be oways given choices to gamble up any amount of money u wan...if u gamble a lot of money and lose,u will blame urself for gamble too much money or if u gamble a little bit of money but win,u will later say"aiya,y don i gamble up more money ah?"

same thing oso happend to this situation,u saw an old beggar and u feel pity for him/her...if u dint give him/her money,u will feel bad as they r very weak and invulnerable plus he/she mayb hungry and no money to buy food...but if u give him/her money,u will feel sad cause ur money have been already given to him/her which make u felt that u just loss money....

if u r given 2 girls to be ur gf,one is pretty but very bad and another one is moderate looking but has a nice heart..who will u wan to choose?difficult le?if u choose the pretty one,later u will be her dogXD..but if u choose the other one,u will sure think that if the girl can just be a little better looking den it is enough ad...

so our life is full of choices and it is up to you to decide it... u can never escape from it and u will never managed to...if u cant change or escape from it,den just accept and adapt the current condition....remember,each choice has their own benefict and concequences,it is just whether how u face it...so my dear friends,choose your choices wisely or choose those choices that u can face it or embrace it...never choose a choice that can destory or turn ur life miserable..dont run away from choices,cause in the end,u do have to make a decision out of the number of choices u have eventually...choose ur choice wisely and i have no doubt that u will live ur life happily and meaningfully...that is all for today...

Happy Bday to u,V juan the Bday Boy XD

ch1n3s3 n3vv y3@r m3m0r13s + r3c3nt s1tu@t10n...

so long never post liao...like 1 week+...lazy nia plus the skul subjects are very tough and i nid to study them,thats y seldom blog lor...this year chinese new year damn boring...nothing to say...ang pao oso less than rm100,pay finish all my debt den left 30+...haiz...but nvm la,at least got leng lui ma this chinese new year...Ahem,i mean not the skul de la...is my mother's fren de daugther.... that day was the 4th day of chinese new year..as usual,my family will sure go and visit my mother's old fren...she got a daughter which is very pretty and gorgeous,which is same age wit me....every year sure never fail to see her de..but this year..ZOMGWTF!!!she looks so different!pretty dao she can fight wit jun jun lor.....walau eh,if i could not control myself,who knows wat will happen that day XD...haha,when we visit my mother's fren,that moment that i cant forget the most is when she looked at me den i looked at her b,later both of us turn to other side because too shy liao..haha,really shok shok shok ar...cant really describe that situation....after that,when i surveyed the surrounding of the house because of too boring...den i noticed something,she oso got up from her seat and start walking to her room den later she stand behind my b for a long time b4 she go away cause my family wan ciao le...damn,if onli i could mustered up my courage,turn away and talk to her...just because of like that,i slip a good chance,it is like everybody told u 'So long suckers!'and i have to admit it that i really hate this kind of situation T.T...anyway,when we wanna go b that time,that situation is kinda awkward bcause.....her mother told me to talk,communicate more wit her and go and know more each other like smsing and msning..really paiseh le XD..mayb her mother already treat me as her future son in law..hehe..but if i let my parent see this post,den i really cham lor =.='

now bout the thing that happend recently,is that skul life is getting more and more boring..i wonder how those old days,the mathematician can so damn bloody good...even can create all those kind of freak algebra thingy...if i got time machine,sure go b to that time and kill all of them...now i just love science and ad math onli...other thing totally dont attract my attention at all...there is one thing that evryone will sure think alike,that is when we r in that form,we will feel very boring...but after we advance to higher form,den we will feel that the previous form is much more fun that current form.....life is like that,face it...if u cant change it,face it....


Naim,do u have to leave us?when u leave,there will be less 1 clever in our skul,there will be oso less 1 computer geek in my life,there will be oso oso less 1 fellow to be bully by me,and lastly, less 1 crazy and emo people in my life...Naim,will miss u forever T.T